(The Making Of)
Why do we create?
Why do we bare ourselves naked, often for nothing more than criticism by people who have never tried?
In my case, the response is that between 2014 (when I moved to the U.S.) and 2018 (when I came back to Brussels) I lived through a series of events that changed me forever. Some were very painful, others wonderful. Some were my fault, others just life dealing its cards as it usually does - without asking first.
There were moments when I had lost all hope to find meaning and some form of happiness in life. I am still here, but I certainly developed a better understanding of why people take their lives.
As "my shadow becomes taller than my soul," I feel a need to leave a trace of those events. For myself, first of all, but maybe also for others who went through or will follow a similar path.
We are not alone, and together we can find the way to our secret home.
(Copyright and other legal stuff)
I know: this is the boring part.
I composed all the songs in this album. I am, as far as I know, the copyright holder on these songs. To the extent that I am, you are free to enjoy and use the songs under the term of the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA license. Check it out.
I did use existing copyrighted material in a few tracks. I am pretty sure that such use would be considered legal under the doctrine and jurisprudence of most countries, even leaving aside common sense for a moment.
I do not collect your personal data, although I might from time to time have a look at the web server logs. The tracks are streamed via SoundCloud, so please check the relevant terms on that website.
If you have copyright or other legal issues, please be in touch to discuss: andrea@thedeepstate.eu.
However, please spare me the passive-aggressive (or outright aggressive) BS. Not only I have a LLM in intellectual property law, and dealt with privacy and personal data protection laws for many, many years, but I might or might not be the Batman.
("Did you really play all of that?")
Let us leave aside for a moment what "playing" really means.
Except for the solo and (most of) the rhythm guitars, which I played myself, most of the album relies on computer synthesis.
For the guitar parts, I used a 2018 Music Man "John Petrucci" Majesty, a 2016 Gibson SG Standard Heritage Cherry, a 1985 Gibson Les Paul Standard, a 1992 Ibanez FGM100, and a slightly battered but very loyal Ovation acoustic guitar. They were recorded via a Scarlett Solo interface, and processed through various applications, including Bias FX 2, Amplitube 4, Nembrini Audio amp simulators, and others. For jamming, experimentation, and in some cases even recording (mostly when latency was an issue) I used a great VST Host called Cantabile.
Most of the drums & percussions were created via a combination of Addictive Drums 2 and RealiTone's RealiDrums.
Pianos, strings, horns, choruses and other weird-sounding stuff were produced via a combination of different Native Instrument's Kontakt instruments (including the "Cremona Quartet" collection, which I highly recommend), Arturia's Analog Lab V collection, EastWest's Composer Cloud, Max for Live patches, and others.
Some bass, trumpet and background guitar lines were produced with PG Music's Band-in-a-Box or with UJam's line of virtual instruments.
All of which went (sometimes very violently) through Ableton Live 10 for composing and mixing. The mastering was done via 2getheraudio's RICH and MajorDecibel. Learning how to do proper mastering is on my list for 2021.
("Why the pictures?")
As I was working on the album, I think after composing the first or second song, I realised that some of the emotions that I was hoping to convey through my music also had a very strong visual and olfactory components for me.
So I started thinking what to do, at least about the visual part. The solution was actually very close to me, in the form of a very talented photographer: my sister Camilla (yes, she suggested the picture.)
In her own words, Camilla is "almost obsessively interested in the beauty of mundane objects". She uses photography as a tool for "emotional archaeology", and to train the eye "to digest everyday things a little differently, exploring themes such as sense of belonging, homesickness and our attachment to objects."
Well, let us just say that her own vision matched perfectly with what I had in mind for this album, and so I got her onboard. I personally love the result, and I hope you will, too.
You can see more of Camilla's work. I think you will not regret it.
(Behind the curtain)
This is a song about loss and regret. Not so much because things could have gone differently, or even because anyone would have been in a better place, had they gone differently. But because maybe I could have been more patient, and more compassionate, about it.
So, if you are reading this: for what it's worth, I'm sorry it went the way it went.
This song is based on a very simple chord progression. However, it took me a really long time to make the guitars at the beginning and the end sound the way I wanted to - which in my mind is like waves crashing against rocks.
This is also the first song where I used the "Cremona Quartet" collection in Kontakt. There is quite a bit of mood one can create via judicious use of MIDI messages, as it turns out.
(Behind the curtain)
When a siren lures a sailor with her enchanting voice, is she being evil, or can she just not help herself?
Does the sailor jump in the water because the siren enchanted him, or is that just an excuse for doing something he wanted to do anyway?
What is love? What is lust? Are they the same?
Is it worth being a king, if all you are ruling over is a barren desert?
These are some of the questions running through my brain, many years after the shipwreck.
This song is mostly based on pre-recorded samples from the "Millennium of Gods" series by IQ Samples, which I highly recommend if you are looking for inspiration. Part of the percussions relied on Auddict PercX. No, I don't know how to play the bouzoki (yet.)
(Behind the curtain)
In Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy, more precisely in the Canto XVII of "Paradise", our national badass poet hero is warned by his ancestor Cacciaguida of his impending exile: "You are to know the bitter taste of others’ bread, how salty it is."
When I arrived in the U.S.A. in 2014, I felt utterly alone, fearing I would not see my children again, convinced that I had let my life turn into a slow-motion car crash. I had exiled myself out of the future I thought was written for me, and yet I could not accept.
One evening I was aimlessly walking around Washington, DC, and I ended up in Meridian Hill Park, where I discovered Ettore Ximenes' statue of Dante Alighieri.
Dante. Alighieri. In Washington, DC.
I started crying.
The song has a relatively simple harmonic basis. I used my 1985 Gibson Les Paul for the melodic part.
The initial notes come from "Bella ciao", an anthem of Italian antifascist partisans. The piano is played by my son Michele.
The picture on the right is an adaptation of a photo shot by Monika Kopcheva.
(This seems like a good moment to suggest you check out two really cool works of art based on the Divine Comedy: the album Infernum by Claver Gold & Murubutu, and Go Nagai's manga adaptation of Dante's masterpiece.)
(Behind the curtain)
The "Chris" in this song is Christianne Ricchi, founder, owner and chief chef of "I Ricchi Restaurant" in Washington, DC.
If you have never been there, you should go.
First of all, because in my humble and not entirely uniformed opinion, it is one of, if not the best Italian restaurant in DC.
But perhaps equally important, you should get to know Chris.
Chris's life and ethos are defined by one sentence and one sentence only: "failure is not an option."
Chris, if you are reading this: thank you, for what I needed to hear back then. Your words and your example put me back on the right track.
In this song I experimened quite a bit with parallel guitar melodies. In an earlier draft of the song, I also experimented with Jam Origin's MIDI Guitar software, but the end result just did not fit - maybe for next album.
(Behind The Curtain)
In the early days of 2015, my mother's health condition, which was not great to start with, began to worsen very rapidly.
She died in the night of January 13, while I was rushing through the Moscow airport in order to catch the only available flight to Italy, and see her one last time before her death.
Did I wait too long before leaving DC?
Did I wait too long to say what had remained unsaid between us for so long?
Was I a good son? Was I good student?
In the end, the only answer I managed to get was: don't wait, ever.
The song is entirely based on one pattern that sprung out of my fingers just a few days after my mother's death, and remained dormant until now. Turning it into a full-blown track was a very painful experience.
A few people who listened to earlier version of the track, told me it made them feel claustrophobic and anxious. I guess that means I am not a terrible composer.
The photo on the right was shot by Stefano Martellucci a long, long time ago. The dog's name was Penelope, and she was the sweetest, most loyal companion a troubled young man could wish to have.
(Behind the Curtain)
This is the fist part of the "Tryptic of Love".
Love lies: this much, I learned a long time ago.
What I had not fully understood, however, is the extent to which people lie to themselves, and to other people, including those whom they claim to love. I had not fully grasped how one can get so entangled with the web of lies, as to forget basic human decency, and yet somehow expect forgiveness afterwards.
It was a lesson that almost destroyed me, but a lesson well learned nonetheless.
If you are reading this: no, I have not forgiven you. But as I already told you once, the forgiveness you claim to be looking for, it is for Someone Else to grant.
The trumpets in this track are a mix of MIDI patterns I developed, and of Band-in-a-Box algorithms. The guitar solos were played with a 1985 Gibson Les Paul, a 1992 Ibanez FGM100, and a 2018 MusicMan Majesty (last solo).
I wrote the poem that closes the song, and the reciting voice is mine.
(Behind the Curtain)
The second part of the "Tryptic of Love".
Sometimes, when life looks very bleak, you are asked to attend a diplomatic reception organised by the Society of Irish-American Friendship (or something along those lines) where your Ambassador is giving the keynote speech.
Sometimes, a woman sitting behind you starts hiccuping very, very loudly during your Ambassador's speech.
Sometimes, out of a combination of kindness and concern for your Ambassador's mood, you stand up, pick up a bottle of water, and offer it to the hiccup offender with your best smile.
And sometimes, the friend of the hiccupping lady is very impressed by your gesture, and holds your hand two seconds more than necessary before leaving.
The rest, as they say, is history. And learning to fly again.
For this song I relied extensively on Irish folk styles of Band-in-a-Box, and a few Kontakt instruments, including the really cool RealiWhistle by RealiTone.
(Behind the Curtain)
The final part of the "Tryptic of Love".
Have you ever tried to shoot group selfies underwater?
Have you ever stood your ground together, against the roaring ocean waves?
Have you ever built the most beautiful sand fortress of the whole world, and defended it against all enemies, shoulder to shoulder?
Love can lie, love can surprise, and when you realize love can still astound you, you know the road home is still there.
For this song I extensively used UJam's virtual guitar and bass instruments.
It took me an inordinate amount of time to get the sound and mood of this deceivingly simple song as I wanted them to be.
(Behind the Curtain)
This is my farewell to a country, the United States of America, that I consider to be my second home.
It is a country that I deeply love. It has given me too much to count, first and foremost the ability to truly believe in myself and to "take no shit from nobody", to quote a very wise Starbuck's barista I befriended during my countless visits there.
It is also a country that deeply infuriates me, for its collective inability to remember and understand its own past (even more than other countries, in my experience).
You might disagree. But in the end, well, you know, that's just like uh, your opinion, man.
Focusing on the music, this is hands down the most complex piece of the whole album, both in terms of conceptual composition, and practical recording/mixing. At some point I had to just upgrade my workstation, which could not cope with the sheer number of tracks.
But hey, throwing lots of stuff in the mix without really knowing what will come out of it, is par for the course for the country which gave us both deep fried Oreos and jazz.
(Behind the Curtain)
"I saw then that my father's only fear was that his son would follow the same road. And that was the last time I ever held a gun. People always thought I grew up on a farm. And I guess, in a way, I did. But I lived a lifetime before that, in those 6 weeks on the road in the winter of 1931. When people ask me if Michael Sullivan was a good man, or if there was just no good in him at all, I always give the same answer. I just tell them... he was my father."
I played all the guitars on this track. Nicole Reynolds was so kind as to lend me her voice for the intermezzo.
The song is based on a harmonic progression that I first strummed on my guitar more than twenty years ago. It remained in my mental drawer, until I could find a place for it that made sense.
The end of this journey, and the beginning of a new one, seemed like a good choice.
(We should all talk more to each other)
My email: andrea@thedeepstate.eu.
Or on Facebook.